Up's And Down's

All day it has been ups and Downs. I finally opened the local newspaper and saw with my own eyes her obituary. It is now neatly folded in her cedar box with engraved baby giraffes and hearts on the top. I also received a card from my sons teacher. It was a nice thought, just kinda wish the cards and random calls from fair-weather friends would cease. If I want to talk about Rowan let me initiate that into the conversation, don't just come out and ask how I'm doing thena million and one questions about what happened. Especially if I barely know you. Sorry venting a little about a woman that goes to the same church I went to stopping me as I was passing her at my child's peds office today.. I swear this woman had never said one word to me before..O'well. Nice to know she cares now or just maybe feeling as though she is saving face. I dunno. I just want to wear a sign on my forehead saying "I'm hurting but alive, now leave me alone." It isn't that I'm not appreciative of their concern but when it is coming from the cashier at McDonald's who doesn't even know your name just knows someone who knows someone who knows you it gets old.. Really cashier lady? Really? You honesty care? Really?


Sorry if I sound a little bitter but that is me right now.

So I took my three year old (Amiah) to the ped today. Where I ran into the face in the crowd at church that now is super concerned about me and my family..Anyway, my daughter is severely allergic to oak apparently and was prescribeda slew of meds.. Fingers crossed they will work.. The poor thing couldn't be outside more than 10Min's without her eyes puffing up. Shes also allergic to pretty much all grass so I find that interesting.

I actually got a little excited this evening. First time since all of this has happened. A friend of mine is trying to talk me into joining a gym and so far her powers of persuasion are working and I really do think it would be good for me. Get my mind off my situation or work out my aggression about losing my wee one.

All of this has been rough so anything to get my mind off of things would be great. Ive tried reading and I cant. Cant watch a movie. Cant find anything that holds my interest and keeps my mind off of Rowan. I guess that is just how it is going to be for a while

 

The will of God will never take me where the grace of God will not protect me!!!!