please don't say

So today has been so so. This morning was rough! We overslept to check out a new church so I was left with nothing to do. Tried to listen to the service online but it locked up my pc. I really wanted to go take flowers out to Rowans burial site but if it wasn't the weather holding me back it was my husband. He had one excuse after the other mainly blamed him not wanting to drive out there on the weather, but it didn't rain. Foowie on him. So I layed in bed with my thoughts for quite some time this am.

At noon I went and joined a gym..Woohoo.. Something to keep not just me but my mind occupied. I don't think I have worked out that hard in my life. Thought it a good idea to keep me occupied and my mind on something other than what I have been dwelling in over the past two weeks.

FYI I do not feel as though I had a miscarriage.. So please don't say "Well I know how you feel because I had a miscarriage too." it isn't like that. What happened to me/Rowan was considered spontaneous fetal death followed by actually going into labor (ya know, contractions, water breaking, pushing and stuff?). So PLEASE PLEASE stop saying I had a miscarriage!! I have had three miscarriages all within the first month of pregnancy so I know what a miscarriage is, this isn't it. I had a baby, one I could hold and touch one I named!

I know people don't mean anything by it but, yes it offends me a little when that is said. I guess I'm just pissy today! Cant help it, I open the sales paper and it is all baby items, everywhere I look I see pregnant women or babies. I swear I'm losing it. I did sleep last night, didn't dream though. If I did I don't remember. All this stinks!  I know if I didnt have God in my life I would be much more of a mess than I am.