My oldest child is Ezekial, but everyone calls him Zeke. I myself call him Zekey Pooh! He is my Zekey Pooh! I had Zeke at a very young age so he and I in a sense grew up together. Or better yet, having Zeke made me grow up. My family up bring was a mess and I never wanted my children going through anything I had to go through growing up. I may get some hate on this from family members who read my blog but c'mon you know! That's all I'd like to say about that (Said like Forest Gump). Anyway, I was not married when I got pregnant with Zeke but something inside me, let's just say I had a strong desire to do things as right as I could at that point. So Ryan and I were married, I was seven months pregnant when we said our "I do's". A couple months pass and we have the most precious little boy ever. He has since been topped by Jacob in the precious dept...lol. jk. Anyway, Zeke was my everything. Everything Ryan and myself did was for him. He is now nine almost ten and the most awesome nine almost ten year old you could ever meet. He's very loving, caring, he has a true love for others and God. He is funny, always trying to get a laugh out of you. Smart as can be. So respectful and most of all he is mine and I love him so much.
When Zeke was fifteen months old we decided to add to the mix and try for number two. Right away we got pregnant with Keirsten. I wanted a boy never in my life did I ever picture having a girl so boy were we surprised when the doctor said "it's a girl". Once I held her I knew she was what I wanted not a boy but this beautiful little girl that God had blessed me with. Keirsty was born nine days after Zeke's second birthday (makes party planning easier to mesh them together, so Ive learned). She was born @ 37wks and had really bad jaundice. She ended up staying in the hospital five extra day which stunk! I wanted my baby home with me but what was best for her health was what we were going to do. She was such a beautiful baby and I know if Rowan would have made it she would of looked just like Keirsten. Keirsten is very opinionated and set in her own ways, she reminds me of me when I was her age, Just not as bad. She loves people and would do anything to make someone down smile. That is just my Keirsty Keys. I was looking at pictures of me the other day when I was her age and I do believe she looks like me. She is my mini me :) Such a sweet little girl and I don't know what I would do without my Keirsty hugs and kissies! Love that girl so much!
Four year break here...lol. So When I was pregnant with Keirsten Ryan took a job mixing ink for a printing business. The ink was toxic, no one knew that at the time. It didn't do anything super harmful but it ruined your sperm. Made it to where you produced nada. So we thought we were done. We were OK with just the two we had a boy and a girl so we had all we needed, right? Well we go on vacation, took the kids to Disney, Universal, Lakeland (to visit Ryan's family) we come home and I'm sick, sick as can be. Doesn't help that the day I came home from vacation I was fired from my job. That's life though and it stunk!!!! Well a month past and I'm still feeling gross. We had no clue we could even get pregnant but when I went to see my doctor they tested just to be on the safe side and guess what?........I was pregnant!
So when I was six months pregnant we made the best choice of our lives and Ryan took a job in Missouri. I found a very political and opinionated doctor I will never forget this guy, in the mid of an exam he demanded to know what I had voted on the stem cell research thin they had a few years back. I didn't vote, we had just moved here and I wasn't registered just yet. He was a strange one, I have a knack for picking out the odd ball doctors...lol
So November 15, 2006 we welcomed Amiah into this world. I was induced with her and had to do it all alone. We didn't know anyone up here so I solo'd the whole birthing experience.. Which gt pretty scary for a second there. She wasn't tolerating me laying on a certain side so her heart rate dropped low enough for them to prep the operating room.. SCARY! Everything went well and we had our second little girl. She looked soooo much different than Zeke and Keirsten, sometimes still have to convince myself I'm her mother. She is now three years old with kinky curly red hair and looks JUST like her daddy and her aunt Amy. Shes a ball of energy and it takes every bit of me to keep up with this one. Sassy too so so sassy. She thinks she is a little diva. I love Amiah's random hug attacks! You never know when it's coming but you know sooner or later she will be running to hug you. I love it though. She is something else. We were told when she was six months she had a ball joint problem and probably would never walk and if she did it would be with braces but God changed that and she is perfect! Everything fixed itself and you cant tell that there is anything wrong with her. Her right leg turns in a tiny bit, but you would never know unless you freakishly stared my little girl down for a while...lol She was our surprise baby. We honestly didn't think we would be able to have more and God blessed me with her.
So we go on vacation to FL again, do the whole Disney thing and come back and guess what? We are expecting baby number four! Must be something in the FL water...lol. We had Jacob Feb 7th 2009. By then we had amazing people in our lives and they helped with the other three so I would not have to be alone having Jacob. Jacob is now 14mo's old and like Amiah I have to remind myself he is mine. He looks just like Zeke did when he was a baby but with blond hair and blue eye. He is perfect. He has overactive kidneys so he pees constantly!!!!! Other than that he is a precious gift from the lord. He is my little snuggle bunny and so loving. He loves to snuggle! My sweet precious little guy. I know he would have made an awesome big brother but God had other plans for our little Rowan Marie and plans for Jacob to stay our baby for a little while longer.
You know that song, Count Your Blessings? Well I do daily when I see these four gifts from God.. I truly have been blessed! So no matter how down I get about Rowan I know I have been blessed. God is good he isn't doing these things to hurt us, though it feels that way sometimes. He loves us all so much! Everyone has their own trial's to g through in life you just have to make sure you come out on top with love for God in your heart and a whole heap of faith. Satan wants us to fail. He is everywhere trying to bring us down and I know he looks at events such as Rowans death as an opportunity to creep his way in and try to turn you on the lord. Be strong! I try to tell myself this daily because to be honest it is hard VERY hard!
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