One of those days

I finally did it.  I took Rowan's box down last night.  I waited until everyone was sleeping and took it down.  I looked through all the items and photos.  Kissed the pictures, her little blue bunny and hat.  I have a pain in my heart that im afraid will never heal. I know it will never heal it's something im going to have to learn to live with and I honestly think im doing pretty good so far.   I miss her! I miss being pregnant with her!  I miss the hopes and dreams I had for her!  I know though, God has her and he is taking the best care imaginable of her.  I just can't help but wonder if she misses me or ever thinks of me.  I know I miss her and think of her all the time.  There isnt a moment that she isnt in the back of my mind.  I just have my days I guess and maybe this is one of them :(