But honestly, what do I say?

Mothers day is coming up and all the hype about getting mom flowers and a card last minute is all over the place. What do I say when someone asks how many children do I have? Do I say four? Because I only have four here with me? Do I say five, but one is in Heaven? Do I say eight, but miscarried three, lost a little girl when I was six months pregnant with her and have four here with me? What do I say? What do mommies in my position tell people? I know the last three options would open a can of crud I don't feel like explaining over and over again? I have held five children of my own, I have given names to each of them Zeke, Keirsten, Amiah, Jacob and Rowan? Just because Rowan isn't here does she not count? I never had the chance to even really know I was pregnant with the three miscarriages. They happened within the first month and I had no clue I was pregnant until my cycle lasted a bit longer than the norm (TMI I'm sure) But honestly, what do I say?

Dear Mr. Hallmark,

I am writing to you from heaven,

and though it must appear

A rather strange idea,

I see everything from here.

I just popped in to visit,

your stores to find a card

A card of love for my mother,

as this day for her is hard.

There must be some mistake I thought,

every card you could imagine

Except I could not find a card,

from a child who lives in heaven.

She is still a mother too,

no matter where I reside

I had to leave, she understands,

but oh the tears she's cried.

I thought that if I wrote you,

that you would come to know

That though I live in heaven now,

I still love my mother so.

She talks with me, and dreams with me;

we still share laughter too,

Memories our way of speaking now,

would you see what you could do?

My mother carries me in her heart,

her tears she hides from sight.

She writes poems to honor me,

sometimes far into the night.

She plants flowers in my garden,

there my living memory dwells

She writes to other grieving parents,

trying to ease their pain as well.

So you see Mr. Hallmark,

though I no longer live on earth

I must find a way,

to remind her of her wondrous worth

She needs to be honored,

and remembered too

Just as the children of earth will do.

Thank you Mr. Hallmark,

I know you'll do your best

I have done all I can do;

to you I'll leave the rest.

Find a way to tell her,

how much she means to me

Until I can do it for myself,

when she joins me in eternity.

~Jody Seilheimer

If only I could get one to grow here in her honor.